The famous Juliet once mused that if Romeo were called by a different name, he would still be Romeo – just as a rose “by any other name” would still be the same flower.  Yet, was Juliet right?  Her cousin Tybalt has the same name as the Prince of Cats in “Reynard the Fox” – a fact often mocked by Mercutio, especially given his cat-like propensity to pounce with good form.  Mercutio is named after the god of speed…and thieves… and the word “mercurial” describes someone who is both lively, quick-witted, changeable, and volatile – all of which Mercutio is.

Besides, naming things was one of the first man’s first job.

So.

Are names the meaningless labels we oft suppose them to be?  Or is there more to a name than meets the ear?

Mrs. Mann raised her hands in astonishment; but added, after a moment’s reflection, “How comes he to have any name at all, then?”

The beadle drew himself up with great pride, and said, “I inwented it.”

“You, Mr. Bumble!”

“I, Mrs. Mann. We name our fondlings in alphabetical order. The last was a S,- Swubble, I named him. This was a T,- Twist, I named (r)him.¯ The next one as comes will be Unwin, and the next Vilkins. I have got names ready made to the end of the alphabet, and all the way through it again, when we come to Z.”

“Why, you’re quite a literary character, sir!” said Mrs. Mann.

“Well, well,” said the beadle, evidently gratified with the compliment; “perhaps I may be. Perhaps I may be, Mrs. Mann.” via Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens: Chapter 2.

Swubble, Twist, Unwin, and Vilikins.  All arbitrary names.  One would think that Oliver’s name was important – it is the title of the novel.  And yet, we find that Oliver has been named “Twist” not because of his relation to any family, but because a beadle willed it so.  Further, everyone who meets Oliver is convinced that he’s going to one day die by the gallows.  This is especially interesting because the word “twist” was slang for “hang”.  Interestingly enough, it also meant “a good appetite”.  Mr. Bumble should be hardly surprised that Oliver asked for more (Barrère and Leland, 1890).  Indeed, just in naming him, Bumble has set Oliver up for failure and a life of crime.

But is this realistic?

Or are these just the imaginings of a very imaginative author?

There is no shortage of current examples of…interesting names in current events.  Shel Silverstein’s popular ballad (performed by Johnny Cash) about A Boy Named Sue recounts the painful upbringing of the eponymous hero and the effects of being named Sue.  Blogger Luvvie urges parents to think carefully about naming their kids on her blog.  And several news outlets have carried the stories of famous singer’s kids with names like “Apple” or “Bronx Mowgli”, as well as the tales of poor Talula does the Hula in Hawaii, young Adolf Hitler, and the successful Marijuana Pepsi Sawyer.

How careful must one be when naming a child?  What are your own plans for child naming?  Do names have power over people?  What about the names people call themselves?  Should I be concerned with the kid who yells “I’m a thug!”?  Or are these names perfectly harmless?

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